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Location: Clearwater, South Carolina, United States

Sunday, August 21, 2005

crisps

Had lunch today in a local sub shop and as per usual, I opted for the daily special. This menu item comes with chips and a drink. Not normally a chip eater, as I don't care for the greasy feeling left in my mouth, I have been known to munch on the baked kind, since they were included in the deal.

Reading material being scarce, I perused the chip bag and ran across some thought provoking stuff. Right off I found out that they were not potato chips, but potato crisps, and the labeling seemed to tell why.

The ingredients listed several things that are normally in liquid form, so I have to assume that all these things were mixed with the potatoes - dehydrated ones at that - and made into a dough, spread thin and baked. The resulting baked product, since it was not sliced directly off the potato, could not be called a chip (off the old potato) so they picked the rather ambiguous "crisps".

Now I can appreciate the truth in labeling and all that, but the bag had other words that were somewhat puzzling to me.

The statement on the bag was: Potato Crisps - The Naturally Baked snacks that complement your active lifestyle! They added the exclamation point evidently to show how excited they were that you bought their product.

Now I do have a fairly active lifestyle, but how did they know that I would be eating this particular bag of "crisps"? But then this statement is written on all the bags and surely they know that everyone eating these crispy tidbits is not that active. In fact, the eating of these baked things is probably the most active thing some will do all day.

The other part of that statement somewhat troubling is the part that says "Naturally Baked". First, why were these two words capitalized?

The general rules for capitalization are: Someone's name, a place (country, county, town, etc.) or a title (book, poem, etc.). I don't recall a country or even a town by that name, it wasn't long enough to be a book or rhyme like a poem and that left only the name thing. Maybe this is the name of the person in charge of the baking, their nickname would have to be "Nat", naturally.

If these words simply applied to how the foods are processed, they leave the implication that other companies' baked crispy things are done in an unnatural, abnormal or even freakish manner.

Peradventure the "Naturally Baked" was referring to the type energy used in the making process. The three, common, naturally occurring, sources of heat that came to my mind were fire, lightning or sunlight.

Fire would have to be eliminated because there were no burn marks on the potato things, lightning is ruled out because there were no memorial pictures on the bag of the ones that lost their lives in this very unstable process - and you know they would have victims. This leaves only sunlight, but this would not produce enough to feed very many people, especially on a cloudy day.

As you can see, this bag of potato thingies brought up way more questions than it answered. Finally I put the bag in the waste container, walked out of the eatery and put it all behind me - which is what we should do with our forgiven past anyway. ec

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