KS - redemption
Early Fall 1962 – The time frame was a month or so of being back home from the Army and I was attending church just enough to please my parents. My usual MO – method of operation – was to sit near the back of the church and then when the sermon started to get really serious, I would slip out the back door to go to the restroom or some other pretext.
One Sunday night in church my timing was just a little off and I actually started to listen to what the preacher was saying. Even today I cannot remember the text of the sermon, I just remember that he was giving some real answers and my every effort thus far had only been coming up with more questions.
It was as though I was frozen in my seat with one voice telling me to get up and leave and the other telling me to go down to the altar and make everything right with God. Every excuse I could think of not to pray came back answered with “Jesus can make it right”. The last straw was when the excuse of “you won’t be able to have any more fun if you become a Christian” came to mind; I knew that was a lie because I had been more miserable than I had ever been in my life.
All this took place in the old Crawford Avenue sanctuary and I felt like every eye in the place was on me, possibly including those of a few demonic beings. From where I sat to the altar in front could not have been much more that a hundred feet, but when I finally stood up it looked like a mile. My heart was pounding and my legs felt so weak that I wasn’t sure they would carry me all the way to the altar.
At the moment my knees touched down, from within came a rush of repentance and tears; a moment later came the flood of forgiveness, washing away the heavy load of sin and wrongdoing that had been slowly suffocating my spirit. Why had I waited so long?
I arose from the altar feeling as light as a feather and as clean on the inside as I could remember being. My future was still not a predetermined certainty, but I knew now that I had someone to share it with and to help me through the rough places. Jesus was one keepsake that I was determined to always have with me.
TBC – ec
One Sunday night in church my timing was just a little off and I actually started to listen to what the preacher was saying. Even today I cannot remember the text of the sermon, I just remember that he was giving some real answers and my every effort thus far had only been coming up with more questions.
It was as though I was frozen in my seat with one voice telling me to get up and leave and the other telling me to go down to the altar and make everything right with God. Every excuse I could think of not to pray came back answered with “Jesus can make it right”. The last straw was when the excuse of “you won’t be able to have any more fun if you become a Christian” came to mind; I knew that was a lie because I had been more miserable than I had ever been in my life.
All this took place in the old Crawford Avenue sanctuary and I felt like every eye in the place was on me, possibly including those of a few demonic beings. From where I sat to the altar in front could not have been much more that a hundred feet, but when I finally stood up it looked like a mile. My heart was pounding and my legs felt so weak that I wasn’t sure they would carry me all the way to the altar.
At the moment my knees touched down, from within came a rush of repentance and tears; a moment later came the flood of forgiveness, washing away the heavy load of sin and wrongdoing that had been slowly suffocating my spirit. Why had I waited so long?
I arose from the altar feeling as light as a feather and as clean on the inside as I could remember being. My future was still not a predetermined certainty, but I knew now that I had someone to share it with and to help me through the rough places. Jesus was one keepsake that I was determined to always have with me.
TBC – ec
posted by mreddie | 3:44 PM
5 Comments:
Like a second baptism, a cleansing, and a renewal. Good vibes here.
It was all of those wrapped up in one experience - the change was permanent, I've never looked back. ec
You were very smart to go when you did. At one time in my life I was singing in night clubs. My mother was having church parties in her home and she watched my 2 young children. She had a young man sing "Thanks To Calvary", for me before I left. Boy did that song touch me, but it did not change me for a couple of years. What I missed by not listening to that call. Yes, I felt the guilt. I really wasn't that bad, but in night clubs is bad enough! NOTHING compares to singing for the Lord! Blessings, Janie Marie
Hi Mr Eddie ~~ Some interesting posts
and you were young when you decided to turn your life around. Congrats on
never looking back. And Christians can have fun and enjoy life.
Thanks for comments (about dead postman). I only write letters once
No rewriting for me. Hard enough to get motivated to write at all.
Take care, Merle.
CGS - It seems that most of us are a bit selfish in wanting to do our own thing - even to our detriment.
merle - We all may have seen 'Christians' that were not so happy but that is not how God meant for it to be. The peace and joy available through Christ makes living for Him the best life possible - if we accept it. ec
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