thoughts

There I was, standing at the spiritual corner of Nothing Road and Nowhere Way, wishing I had studied the road map a little more closely. I did remember that there wasn't anything at the end of one of these roads and the other really didn't go anywhere.

Dressed in my sweater of self-sufficiency and knit hat of indecision, I had walked this far in the thin-soled shoes of world opinion, feeling every sharp pebble of political correctness strewn in my way. I realized it was getting dark; I was cold and felt very alone.

While still in the full throes of hesitancy, a dark thought rushed from the shadows and assaulted me. Flat on my emotional back, I felt as though I was being hit from all sides, it was then I realized I had fought this thought before - a once conquered enemy named Fear.

Fear is big, but I was getting hit too much for just one attacker, and between blows, I caught a glimpse of Fear's two cousins, Doubt and Worry. I could see Panic behind them and he was getting ready to join the fray.

Disillusionment and Disappointment were loosening up, waiting to get in their licks. Behind them was a large ugly thought I also recognized from the past, and would know it anywhere because of previous scars from way back when. His name was Hopelessness.

Then it occurred to me that this beating would only get worse if I didn't start fighting back. My trusty bag of self-created weapons, made for situations such as this, was nearby and I reached for one, desperately seeking to stop the pain.

My hand closed upon the spear I had made from religious words and clever sayings, but it shattered at first thrust.

Shocked and surprised, I reached for another. Fetching out the club of Christian seniority, I felt confident, knowing this would be a great defense since I had claimed to be a Christian for many years. But this too splintered into sharp pieces at first blow, the shards caused more wounding of my spirit.

I tossed my robe of self-righteousness over one opponent to try to hold him down, but there was no strength in the material of this garment in which I had trusted. My foe ripped it into tatters and continued the attack.

Nearing the end of my resources, I had another weapon that I had leaned on before, the staff of good works. But it might as well have been made of wheat straw, for it had no effect except to make things worse. In fact all my efforts at self-defense made these bad thoughts stronger still.

Fading hope caused me to reach for another means of defense even though I thought there was none. Brushing across a once familiar object, the question formed in my mind - what is this? Even before it was completely uncovered, the memories of past victories flooded back - how could I have forgotten, even for a moment, this sword of the spirit, the Word of God!

The awesome power of this sword of the spirit sent my foes fleeing in all directions. What a waste of energy to depend on anything else and I was reminded once again to keep it close at hand, because the thought gang wouldn't go far, and would wait patiently for another chance at me. ec