April 9th
April 9th was my Mom’s birthday; she passed on Mother’s Day in 1997. I thought her day of departure was a bit ironic, to say the least. To say the most, there was a bitter sting about her dying on that day until my pastor reminded me that she had just received the best Mother’s Day present she could have ever gotten – to be with Jesus.
A eulogy was desired and I was willing, but to do so I had to totally shut down any emotions involved to be able to get through it. The funeral took place in Red Bay, Alabama and though it was tough at first, the eulogy went forth without a hitch; I just wanted to do my Mother proud. Then her burial took place back across the state line in Mt. Zion Cemetery in Mississippi. Her final resting place was beside my Dad who had died in Dec. 1995.
After everything was over we went back home and resumed our normal life. It had crossed my mind that I had never shed a tear over Mom’s death but this was soon forgotten with our busy schedule at the time. About a month later while sitting alone and with no reminder of her, the emotional dam suddenly burst. I must have cried about 30 minutes straight and finally came to understand what I had always heard – that grief must be dealt with sooner or later.
I know by faith that I will see her again when my life on this earth is over but I do think especially of her on this her birthday each year. Then for her and for myself, I am reminded of the verses in Job (19:25-27) “I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end He will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see Him with my own eyes – I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!” ec
A eulogy was desired and I was willing, but to do so I had to totally shut down any emotions involved to be able to get through it. The funeral took place in Red Bay, Alabama and though it was tough at first, the eulogy went forth without a hitch; I just wanted to do my Mother proud. Then her burial took place back across the state line in Mt. Zion Cemetery in Mississippi. Her final resting place was beside my Dad who had died in Dec. 1995.
After everything was over we went back home and resumed our normal life. It had crossed my mind that I had never shed a tear over Mom’s death but this was soon forgotten with our busy schedule at the time. About a month later while sitting alone and with no reminder of her, the emotional dam suddenly burst. I must have cried about 30 minutes straight and finally came to understand what I had always heard – that grief must be dealt with sooner or later.
I know by faith that I will see her again when my life on this earth is over but I do think especially of her on this her birthday each year. Then for her and for myself, I am reminded of the verses in Job (19:25-27) “I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end He will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see Him with my own eyes – I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!” ec
posted by mreddie | 9:28 AM
12 Comments:
I wrote my mother a letter on the first anniversary of her death. I guess that was my way of seeking closure -- whatever that is.
EC,
Your post touched me deeply for as you know I lost my mom too!(3 years ago)
It's hard to get through... even knowing they are in a wonderful place!
June
It is great to hear of your faith and of your love for your mother.
It is hard to lose a mother, My mother was buried on Mother's Day, 1935. I am thankful that God had given me so many relatives that I loved, I was only nine so it was the relatives who kept my life on an even keel.
So, when God is looking out for us we can make it. Years with God do make a difference.
Take care, We do care,
See you, Betty G
Your preaching made a good connection. Still, the death of one’s mother on Mother’s Day seems more than ironic; it seems to be traumatic.
I understand well what you mean when you say that after a month “emotional dam suddenly burst.” That’s what happened with me when my father died. Actually, it was about 2 months later and I was back in seminary translating psalms from Hebrew into English. I began to cry and couldn’t stop.
Hi Mr Eddie ~~ A touching post about
your mother. It is very hard to lose a parent, and I found for awhile that I was being "strong" for the family, but
it hits you later. Our faith is the
best gift we have in life.
Cheers, Merle.
AC - I'm not exactly sure what closure is either, but time and the speaking of the memories of her have helped.
junierose - I remember your writings about your Mom. It does make it better though to have faith that they are in a better place.
bjw - Yes they are and through what she taught us our family is still well connected together.
boopchile - Thanks for your comment, family and God do make the difference.
SSN - It was traumatic at first but what my pastor said and the Holy Spirit eased that. The steps of grief must be walked to be able to cope.
merle - Yes, our faith in God is the thing that can pull us through any of life's turmoils. ec
I went through some of my late mother's things this weekend. It was raining, and seemed such a touching thing to do on a rainy day. Her presence in my life is always with me, just altered a little because of her death.
bonita - After Mom passed, the six of us siblings cleaned out the old home place. We found many photos and keepsakes that reminded us of her, we split these up and all had remembrances. ec
I'm the handle everything, stiff upper lip in my family but you're right. Sooner or later we have to deal with it.
granny - Right - if you don't deal with it, it will deal with you - as in my case. ec
Eddie that is absolutely beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
My hubby's dad passed when Rob was just 12. He never dealt with it until about 8 years ago. He's a completely different man now.
God is amazing. I cannot wait to see Him, either!
jayleigh - So good to hear from you - I get a security warning every time I try to comment on your site. So glad God gave you and your husband victory. ec
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